Hatter Rant 5/11/13

"So, I'm a teacher. Do you have any idea how obnoxious kids in class are? Like the one who always talks, oh to the Lord, I beat my head against a lamp when I get home. Everyday. Those ones with no common sense and especially, those flea-bitten, mind-maimed children who think that they speak American. No wonder they can't listen to me... English is a 'foreign language'! And NOT TO MENTION those kids who will make rude crude and obnoxious jokes. Let's not even go there. I mean, there are some kids who don't understand the meaning of the phrase "SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN TO THE TEACHER." AND THEN... There are the children who aren't even obnoxious in class. Their clothes... Hello America! Hello little girls!  You wear pants for a reason! Shirts are SHIRTS! I'd pull up your shirts for you, but I'm respectable and things... I have dignity... And I'd get arrested for touching you. Like a bad driver who thinks all the pedals are breaks! How many wrecks can one have? And like, you know, drunk drivers. I was wasted once, the cop pulled me over. I yelled 'I swear to drunk I'm not God!' Yeah, I had to have my Grandma bail me out that night. Grandma, fantabulastical job knocking out... I mean arguing my case against the cops..."